Mary J. Blige: 'I Suffered From Self Hatred'

Mary J. Blige says she suffered too long with self hatred. Speaking her truth on an episode of "The Dr. Oz Show" late last year, Blige said she got to a point where she wanted better for herself and that, visually, you can see on the latest issue of Shape magazine. "I suffered from self hatred so much. It's like I didn't want to look like that any more. I didn't to feel like that any more. It had to be another way," Blige told Dr. Oz. According to the Grammy winner, her choice drugs were cocaine and alcohol and to this day, she admits that it's not easy staying away from those things. "I feel like once I turn it on, it's on. That's one of the reasons I stopped because once it's on, it's on," said Blige. "I didn't know how to show my self love and I didn't want anyone else to hurt me. So my tough girl attitude was like, 'I'm not having it.' I didn't know that I was hurting myself (doing that). I hated myself for so many reasons and I thought so many things were my fault, that happened to me growing up. So resort to drugs and alcohol to numb you from thinking about those things. It just makes it worse."